lonesome pass, apr 2015
on today's ski I could feel my rest week had been productive. there were deep wells of uphill urge stored in my trochanters, a biting desire to burn the day effortlessly floating up precious fresh spring snow. with no one around for miles I felt my body relax into the mild effort, prepared to perform at my peak. 

standing at the top in the center of the wind it gently lifted me everywhere it wanted to go. I felt identified, whole, empty, a part of the rest of me. perhaps that is why I can often not discern fixed labels for my identity. after all of these peak experiences alone I don't need shortcuts like drugs or some solid image of myself upon which to rely. I understand we are all everything. this knowledge does not support a construction of a finite identity and it reveals my soul's most basic qualities. I am resourceful and calm, capable of anything when I am alone.

then my brain took on the activity of the wind, blowing everywhere without hindrance or a sense of belonging. I know what my body is for and I know why I've chosen this experience today. so as they danced I locked my heels down with four satisfying clicks and pointed it downhill using the lowest couple hundred feet as a slalom time trial with melted out rocks and pines as flags.